Your Coach is NOT your friend

This article was first published in careerhmo, and also extracted to linkedin

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Well… sort of… your career coach can be much MORE. He can be your guide, your teacher, your mentor, or your confidant. He can also be your worst critic or your best sounding board. What the coach is to you as a client really depends on how you develop your relationship with him (or her). But one thing is certain – in order to make effective changes, your coach has to do what it takes to make sure you commit and action to these changes. A GOOD career coach will make his client accountable for making those changes.
“If you want any change to happen on the outside, something must shift within you.”
Here are some ways to get the most out of your coaching relationship:

• The best time for a coach is BEFORE you need one

Too often, I see clients engaging a coach as a last resort, when everything else hasn’t worked. This places tremendous strain on the relationship, and it can be counterproductive. Instead, the best coaching relationships I’ve seen are those where the client views coaching as a strategic advantage, and engages a coach to help him achieve his desired goals BEFORE any dramatic happens.Engaging a coach before anything bad happens often allows the client to be open to different options, and gives time for the coaching relationship to develop in a much more productive and effective manner. 

• Be clear on why you need a coach

Ask yourself “What do you want out of this coaching relationship?” Not always an easy question to answer. Many a time, the first response will be "to find a job!" But when you dig deeper, you can be surprised at the final answer. The coach will work with you to refine your desired outcomes and objectives – but the source has to come from you, not the coach.

• Be open and truthful with your coach

The coach is not there to mollycoddle you, and sometimes he may tell you things you don’t like to hear. Even worse when you bend the truth – for example, the REAL reason why you were fired from the job: this often leads down the wrong path. As a client, you need to be comfortable with the unknown and the unpleasant in order to progress and look at situation in a different way. The coach is there to help, not to judge.
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• Be the driver, not a passenger

You have to take charge and take the initiative to source for solutions and effect the change. The coach will help by guiding and prompting you with possibilities and options. You need to make the decision for each step and be accountable for these
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• Be ACTIVE with your coach

Too often, many clients expect the coach to be the teacher and to solve all their career problems for them.... these clients are missing out on so much more in this relationship! As a client, it’s so much more effective for you if you participate actively by openly sharing your thoughts. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Before your next session, think about what you want to achieve or ask – this makes the session so much more impactful for you and in getting your money’s worth! After each session, you will likely be asked to do some "homework" or commit to an activity: please DO IT! You are the beneficiary, not the coach!

Go to the full article for further thoughts on:  
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• What a career coach CANNOT do for you
• How to select the right Career Coach